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Ten Signs The Holidays Are Coming

  1. It’s November.
  2. My pumpkins have rotted, and haystacks from my sukkah have sprouted grass.
  3. Leaves fall off trees, the temperature drops, and I’m wearing my snowflake thermal underwear.
  4. Christmas music already plays on the radio, and I still have rejected Halloween Jolly Ranchers in my candy bowl.
  5. Some of my neighbors have wreaths on their doors, red bows on their mailboxes, and lights on their houses.
  6. My kids work on their Hanukkah wish lists more than they do their homework.
  7. I buy a bag of cranberries every time I visit the grocery store.
  8. My anxiety builds over how to bake a turkey that isn’t raw or dried out.
  9. Friends make plans for Spring break before winter arrives.
  10. I gave up on dieting because what the hell I’m going to gain at least five pounds in the next two months anyway.

How are you planning for the upcoming holidays, or are you in denial?