I dedicate this little poem to my daughter Sari, who turns 8 on Christmas Eve, and all the other boychiks and meydles who get ripped off every year because their December birthdays are caught in the middle of the Hanukkah hoopla. (more…)

If there’s one thing Jews can agree on, it’s that Hanukkah is not a Jewish Christmas. (Now getting us to agree on how to spell Hanukkah—Hannukah, Chanukah, Channukah, or Hanuka—is another story). Sure, both holidays occur in December and fulfill lots of children’s wish lists, but the similarities between Hanukkah and Christmas stop there. (more…)

Is it just me, or does anyone else out there feel the stress of you-know-what around the corner? It seems to me that the winter holiday season, also known as Hanukkah hysteria or December dilemma, sneaks up on us earlier each year, like before I even have a chance to polish off my kids stale tootsie rolls. No sooner than I unplug the electric jack-o-lantern from the outdoor extension cord does our gentile society suck us into their world…Santas at every shopping mall, Jingle Bells on every radio station, and gigantic wreaths and red velvet ribbons tied around every light post in town. No wonder I find myself singing Winter Wonderland in the shower. (more…)

Finally, the cutthroat, mid-term election is over, and us voters are as much survivors as the politicians themselves. In record numbers, we not only survived the glitches of the new, high-tech electronic voting machines, but we sustained all the hateful television commercials, political propaganda junk mail, and annoying phone messages that raided our homes like a war zone. Now I have to assess the collateral damage, which is my children’s shattered illusion that the American government actually looks out for us.

This particularly competitive campaign seemed to separate the community as much as the championship World Series united us. The playing fields are different, but both events are games that go down in history. (more…)

People ask me all the time, “Ellie, how do you work from home with so many distractions during the day?”

The answer is simple. I would much rather stay home and write in my flannel plaid pajamas than get dressed in real clothes and drive to an office where I doodle pictures at boring meetings and sit at my desk during my one-hour lunch break and eat leftover meatloaf out of a Tupperware container. (more…)

During the Hebrew month of Tishrei, Jews go from the most solemn day of the year, Yom Kippur, to one of the simplest, Sukkot, which celebrates the plentiful Fall harvest. In a period of just 14 days, we move from the glorified high holidays to the most down-to-earth festival of all. In the time it takes to polish off the last bite of leftover defrosted brisket, we transcend from praying in the majestic, stained-glass surroundings in our congregation to shaking the lulav with our children in a makeshift outdoor hut. The synagogue is heavenly. The sukkah, literally, is under the heavens. Only in Judaism can we call both the beama and our backyard holy places of worship. (more…)

Halloween is one of my favorite childhood holidays (aside from the eight days of Hanukah), and even to this day, the best part remains my guiltless binge on bite-size candy bars. Even though I don’t dress up like a scary witch with frizzy black hair anymore, at least not on purpose, I still like to welcome the full harvest moon with much spirit. (more…)

As far as careers go, I never could be an elementary schoolteacher. I just don’t have the patience, nor do I have any desire to inspire on a daily basis an overheated classroom of nearly two dozen rambunctious children, many whom use their sleeves to wipe their runny noses. If I never do another mitzvah again, at least I can say that I have proudly dedicated many hours as a tireless Room Mom for the past decade and still counting.

Thank God for teachers, at least the good ones, because they stimulate thinking and motivate young people to learn. In Judaism, parents and teachers are one in the same, and education goes way beyond the classroom. (more…)

Like so many families whose kids are involved in multiple sports and activities, the soccer field has become my home away from home lately. In fact, I relax in my nylon stadium chair more often than my leather couch at home. A typical Saturday morning soccer game starts out this way: First, I pull the heavy, collapsible contraptions out of the drawstring bags and unfold each one like a magician setting up for a magic show. Secondly, I play musical lawn chairs until everyone enjoys an unobstructed view of the upcoming action. Next, I grab bottled waters from the cooler and arrange a beverage in each empty cup holder. Then, I serve hungry fans handfuls of sunflower seeds, even though we just gobbled chocolate donuts for breakfast. Finally, by half time, I plop myself down and ask, “What’s the score?” (more…)

Academic success is driven into the brains of our children before they tinkle in their first diaper. Although there’s no concrete scientific evidence that education begins in the womb, a hormonal pregnant woman will do just about anything to give her growing fetus the best start in life. It’s not unheard of for an expectant mom to play Mozart to her swollen belly. The hope is that exposure to classical music will increase the likelihood of giving birth to a musical protégé who can play Chopsticks and suck on a pacifier all at the same time.

When a parent brings the bundle of joy home from the hospital, the sleepy newborn is greeted with more black and white abstract images than a Rorschach inkblot test at a psychiatrist’s office. (more…)