This week’s “Mishegas of Motherhood” is special for me because it represents my one-hundredth column. That’s right, 100 times I wrote a story that had something to do with being a Jewish mom, although I’ve also been known to digress and talk about food, my marriage, and my dog. Since the parenting humor column was first published in March 2006, “Mishegas of Motherhood” has become a household name, at least at my house. Even so, I realize “Mishegas of Motherhood” is a mouthful to say and an even longer title to spell out. That’s why I would like to propose the abbreviated title for “Mishegas of Motherhood” as “M.O.M.” What do you think?
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Ever since I joined a new health club, I’ve lost touch with reality. It all started when I allowed a personal trainer named Chad to pinch my body fat in places that my own husband is not allowed to go near.
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I don’t consider myself a procrastinator, unless, of course, the chore has something to do with cleaning out the freezer. When I have a job to do, I get it done. Usually.

For example, my son asks me to find him a girdle to wear at football practice. Done. Sari requests a kosher salami sandwich with mayonnaise in her school lunch. Done. My husband’s trousers are ready for pickup at the dry cleaners. Done. The dog needs a haircut. Done. I have to write a story on the benefits of Torah yoga. Done.

One thing I can’t seem to get done is my son’s bar mitzvah photo album.

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For many parents, shopping for school supplies is a test of endurance, requiring mental and physical stamina. On the heels of the summer Olympics, I can’t help but to compare this competitive back-to-school ritual to an athletic race.
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The first thing my kids do when they get home from school or summer camp is head to the kitchen for a snack. Before I have a chance to ask them, “How was your day?”, they tear into a granola bar, devour a bowl of cereal, and polish off the leftover chicken parmesan before they finally come up for air and ask me, “What’s for dinner”?

My kids are lucky. They always have something to eat and drink. It?s easy to take for granted that our refrigerator and pantry are full with healthy food. An important lesson to teach our children is that many kids are not as fortunate. A lot of them are hungry because of various economic hardships that make it difficult for their parents to afford food in their bellies, let alone fuel in their gas tanks.

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Now that summer is here and school is out doesn’t mean that the Jewish holidays are on vacation. Think again. One of the most significant events in Jewish history–the giving of the Torah at Sinai–occurs seven weeks after Passover (June 9 and 10 this year) and celebrates the cutting of the harvest of wheat and first fruits in Israel. The joyous holiday known as Shavuot, which means “weeks” in Hebrew, doesn’t get the widespread recognition of Hanukkah or share any distinctive symbols, such as matza and a sukkah, like the other two pilgrimage holidays of Passover and Sukkot. However, without Shavuot, our journey to the Promised Land is incomplete, like the ultimate cliffhanger.
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Sometimes moms go to extreme measures to get a little down time for themselves. Aside from the solicited kindness that occurs on special occasions, such as her birthday, anniversary, or Mother’s Day, women feel like they need a good excuse to be spoiled. In fact, recently I figured out how to indulge in almost a full week of pampering without leaving the comfort of my own couch. All it takes is the surgical removal of an organ. Luckily, I can live without my gallbladder. (more…)

In honor of upcoming Mother’s Day, I dedicate this week’s column to all moms, especially mine because without her I wouldn’t here. If not for my mom, I wouldn’t be born. Otherwise, my soul might have ended up in the physical body of a dolphin or an eagle or a peasant farmer in Mexico. But I wouldn’t be me.

So, thanks mom. Thanks for everything you’ve done to me—I mean for me—over the years. (more…)

A birthday is a cause for celebration, and when the birthday is the sixtieth anniversary of the State of Israel, the party takes on a life of its own. Even if you can’t get to Jerusalem next week to watch a nationwide laser light show and hear Barbara Streisand belt out “Avinu Malkeinu” live on stage, or to Radio City Music Hall in New York to enjoy another star-studded gala, Kaleidoscope Israel brings the Jewish State right here to St. Louis. (more…)

Passover is all about telling (or retelling) a great story. The Passover story, in particular, is about the history of our people. The story starts out thousands of years ago when the Jews were slaves and built ancient cities for Egyptian kings called Pharaohs. The Egyptians were worried that the Jewish slaves would become too strong and fight for their freedom, so Pharaoh ordered the drowning of all male babies born to the Jews. To save her newborn son, one Jewish woman placed her baby in a basket and asked her daughter Miriam to take him to the reeds in the river and hide him. Pharaoh’s daughter found the baby and named him Moses, which means “drawn from the water,” and unknown to the princess, appointed Moses’ real mother to care for him while he lived in Pharaoh’s palace.

Sounds like a soap opera, doesn’t it? (more…)