As the expiration date on the gallon milk jug gets closer to the day of Jack’s bar mitzvah, the reality of this major lifecycle event hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m not old enough to have a teenage son, especially one dressed in a designer suit, silk tie, and a mezuzah necklace. As Jack polishes his prayers everyday, I frantically run in circles and make changes to the guest list, menu, party favors, music, programs, decorations, entertainment, speeches, biographical slide show, and, of course, my outfits. Every chance I get, I rearrange the seating chart like I’m playing musical chairs.

Obviously, I’m in bar mitzvah mode full force right now. Nothing can distract me from my list of things to do. Not even the flu. Then suddenly, without any warning, my party planning comes to a screeching halt. That’s when I find out that I’m going to Hollywood, California, for the trip of a lifetime. (more…)

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

In the good old days, this well-known childhood saying was usually a good enough defense against the meanest bully at recess, then again, so was “nah, nah ,nah, boo, boo” and sticking out your tongue and wiggling your fingers in the air before running for cover.

In today’s modern computer era where kids spend more time on the Internet than they do on the school playground, words actually can hurt worse than sticks and stones. In some cases, words even can kill. (more…)

Kids seem to speak their own language. They always have; they always will. After all, young people sort of share the same tongue, and some of them pierce their tongues as well, but that’s another fad.

Sari calls her girlfriend at school “BFF”, (Best Friends Forever), and Jack constantly tells me, “TMI”, (Too Much Information), whenever I have to explain any kind of bodily function. Even the overused, full-of-attitude word, Whatever, is shortened to just “WE.”

The latest style of “QSO” (Conversation) seems innocent enough, but these abbreviations are actually derived from an even more bizarre communication called text messaging. This text-based lingo twists the alphabet into secret codes that encourage “KPC,” (Keeping Parents Clueless) and causes lots of “CSG,” (Chuckle, Snicker, Grin) toward anyone who doesn’t get it. (more…)